What Can I Say For Millicent....

This relationship is causing more stress then a little bit. I am doing everything in my power to keep an open mind and look at things objectively but it’s so hard. Considering all the arguments and what they are about, is not very encouraging. I just need something positive to happen to make me feel like this relationship is worth both of our time. I know that relationships, good ones for that matter, aren’t perfect all the time but we haven’t had something good happen to us since November. I never knew that a relationship could be so difficult. I do know one thing, if we can make it through this, any other little sh!t that comes up, I will be a lot more prepared.

I lost a friend the other day for the second time. It makes me kinda think that maybe we’re not supposed to be friends. Whenever things are going good between us, we have the best of time. She talks to me when she won’t talk to her best friend. I listen just to learn about her. It hurts when we don’t talk cause I know it usually because of something I did. I wish there was something I could do or say to fix the situation or to change the way you feel about me. I’m sorry for what I did, it was wrong and I accept responsibility for my actions. I don’t regret what happen, I regret how our relationship changed as a result of our actions. Please believe that I respect you more then that and if I had known that our friendship would be compromised, I would not have followed through with my actions. I’m going to respect your wishes but I’ll always be here to listen if you need it.

I go back to school on Saturday, I will finally be able to see HoSHI and begin the mending process. I really do think that things are going to be better. I’m anxious to get back to school and start classes. I’m talking a film class (it’s required), animal behavior, plant physiology and a seminar about conservation or something like that. I just really wanna prove to myself that I can do better then last semester. I been looking at a lot of career stuff and I’m trying to get my academics in line with the requirements. I’m a little concerned but I just gotta do what I gotta do. Mommy starts class tomorrow. She’s going from and 18hr load to a 13hr load, she’s much happier. I wish so bad that I when to and HBC or at least had more black ppl. on my campus. I was in the bookstore with her and there was so much greek stuff there, well at least more then what’s at my school. But oh well, there’s benefits to going to a private liberal arts predominantly white university.

This is way longer then I wanted it to be so I’m calling it a night… or morning.

:amel: