I am so Through!

I’ve reached my saturation point. I’ve been cool, I’ve let sh!t slide but damn it, I’m not a bad person and I don’t deserve this. I was kinda thinking to myself “I wonder if she’s acting this way on purpose, you know just to hurt me like I hurt her”. Several ppl have suggested it but the idea just fell on deaf ears. I would hope that that’s not the kinda person she is but you never know. I guess I’m trying to hard to make something work that just isn’t supposed to. You get upset and cry when ppl cut you off so how do you expect me to act when you put a wall up? I think I’ve done a good job dealing with all you’ve put me through. I’m not one who argues so I don’t see how you’d be upset with me, I don’t see you or talk to you much so I don’t understand how I irk you either. I think I’ve done a lot to try and make this friendship work, but I can only put in so much work before I need some help. I can’t do the job by myself and that’s how I feel.

You have no idea the way you’ve affected me and my thought process and the way I look at things. I mean you had me thinking the way I think and do things was totally fu@ked up. Well you know what, I don’t care what you think anymore, doing what you want me to do isn’t going to make me happy and it’s not going to do anything for building a friendship. I’m not you and I don’t operate like you. I am my own person with my own experience and valid thoughts. I’m not totally giving up, I’m just at that point like if something doesn’t change soon we’re going to stop talking and I know it. And I honestly I don’t think you’d care. You have you’re other women to enhance your ego and entertain you. Losing one won’t harm you.

I tried, I really did and I don’t know what else to do. Like I said I guess I’m trying to save something that’s not supposed to be. This is going to hurt like a b!tch. Can I go home now…

On a happier note…IM FINISHED WITH EXAMS!!! My last paper has been done since Sunday but I’m not happy with it, cause I couldn’t find enough sources. I’ll probably work on it tomorrow after I do my errands. I finally got to go to Avesta’s. Tera took me cause I was hungry and broke, such a bad combination. I had a chi-tini but since it was made with tea, it tasted watered down. They guy just put more bailey’s in it and it was ok.

I was so looking forward to seeing HoSHI today but now… I don’t know anymore. I don’t need this sh!t right now. Nothing was supposed to ruin my day... Where the fu@k is my 99 Bannans!

:amel: