On Deaf Ears...

I just had a conversation with HoSHI about love. Her heart has been so hardened as a result of her past relationships, mine included. As of right now, I have a lot of things to say in regards to her feelings but I don’t think she would receive it the way she would as if a close friend said the same thing. Partially because we just got out of a relationship and because I’m a one of the caused some of her pain. I just feel like my points aren’t valid to her. I’m not quite sure why but I don’t wanna assume…

Every time we engage in a discussion, I’m constantly being told, “I don’t understand” and “don’t assume that you know me”( I’VE KNOWN YOU FOR SEVEN MONTH’S, HOW COULD I NOT KNOW YOU!) and at the end I’m kinda like, “well damn, I guess she told me”. I shouldn’t feel like that at the end of a conversation, or at least not all the time; I wish just one time, she could feel that way after talking to me. I listen because so that I might know her better and that’s what friends do. They listen so that they can help you if you’re having issues or sometimes just to be an ear. I want our friendship to be one of strength but it’s so hard when our conversations feel like she’s always on the defense.

I love this girl with all my heat and all I wanna do is be a good friend to her. I want to listen when she needs someone to listen, give advice when she needs it and help her out if she’s in a tight spot. She’s has challenged me in more ways then I could imaging and I like how I look at things differently as a result of having her in my life. I wish that she felt some type of positivity from me cause right now, I don’t know if she does.

:amel: