From school, from people, from work and from thinking and analyzing. I haven't been at peace in such a long time and I don't know if i will be anytime soon or where I could go about finding it. It’s foolish and unreasonable to think that there could be some one to come a long and fix everything… I mean sh!t like that just doesn’t happen. Ideally, I should be able to find inner peace in the positive things that are going on in my life. You know, just divert my attention to the good and not focus on the bad.
Through the little reflection I've done in the past couple of hours, I come to the conclusion that I'm not an independent person, by any means. I mean I knew that before, I just accepted it as one of my characteristics. Not everyone can be a leader…but at any rate, I always need someone in my life to validate what I do. Whether it's a friend, a person I want to be my friend or some one I'm interested in.
I just feel like I’m standing at a crossroad in my life and for the first time there is no one there for me to consult with about my next move. I mean I know what's best for me to do but I'd so much rather just sit in the middle of the road until some one comes along that I can talk to before I choose my path. I know, I know... I can't survive in this world if I don’t do things for myself but i was so happy in my comfort zone and I'm not quite ready to leave it. I just need to man up and go out on that scary weak limb all by myself cause I know that I'm not always going to have some one by my side…case and point.
Before I can take that first step though, I desperatly need some me time, just 2 days were I can’t talk to any one and I can’t get on the net. I need it for my own sanity cause if I don’t, I think, no… I know I’m going to crack.
:amel:
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