Temptation...

So….HoSHI and I fixed our problems after a big argument and several late night conversations. We laid out the issues that we had been having, and decided that we were going to work on them and move on. Any more discussion about them would have driven us apart cause I was getting tired of talking about the same sh!t. So, we’re ok as of now, things still aren’t back to normal. For example, we do this silent thing on the phone that drives me nuts. We used to always converse on the phone, but now, it’s like we’re running out of things to say to each other. I hope that changes cause I’m not the one to sit and listen to some one breath on the phone.
I’ve been spending a lot with a friend of mine. This friend and I used to be involved over the summer. We had a messy separation but before school started, we were on good terms. We continued to chat during the school year, just to keep in touch. When I came home for thanksgiving break, she was the first person I saw. Of course HoSHI was not happy with this cause she believes I still have feelings for her. I tried to tell her that there was nothing to worry about and that we were just friends but she wasn’t buying it.
When I got home for Christmas break, she was the first person I went to see again. I thought things between us were cool, but they weren’t. She started developing feelings for me the more time we spent together. Recently, we had a rather steamy visit in which I resisted all kinds of temptations. I behaved but it was extremely hard.
I must admit that I do care for her and I always will because of the nature and intensity of our relationship. However, I have to remain mindful of the current relationship I’m in. I love HoSHI and I want our relationship to work, I mean we’ve worked at it so hard already. I enjoy the time my friend and I spend together and our friendship, but I don’t want things to go where they shouldn’t. I would say that the best thing for us to do is to not spend so much time with each other…but that’s not what I want. This relationship things is quite difficult, especially when you got sh!t going on that constantly tests it.
Christmas was quiet, I got $100 and I bought myself a blazer from H&M, I like. I’m broke as sh!t, and I’m not going to be working during break. I don’t even have enough money to put gas in my car. I absolutely hate getting money from my mom cause I know she really doesn’t have it to give away. Times are rough. On a good note, I didn’t fail my botany class. I just make the cut off to be on academic probation again… All I have to say is PRAISE THE LORD.

:amel: