What do you Think?

Is it a problem to let people just casually come into and leave your life whenever it’s convenient for them?
My automatic response would be hell yes it is a problem. In general, I’m not cool with people just coming and going with out giving a reason or without regard to my feelings. That’s selfish and rude. But then I think about what has occurred in the past and what lies in my future. There have been numerous times where I’ve let people in my life for weeks or months at a time to have them disappear because they didn’t wanna deal with their feelings or some other reason unknown to me. The first few weeks are usually hard to get through without being angry or bitter, depending on how interested I was in the person. But after a while, I let go and keep it moving. I’m not scarred or bitter towards the person, no need to waste energy on something you can’t do anything about. 9 times out of 10 if they come back around, things pick up right were they left off...sometimes. At this point in my life I don’t wanna get attached to anyone that I meet because I won’t be here for long. So again I ask, is it really that bad to keep letting some one back in your life even though you know they’re not going to stick around? If you have a true connection with this person and genuinely like them, outside of their disappearing act, what’s the harm in keeping them around for company?

:amel:

I Wanna Move Too!

So, why is everyone making big moves in the month of March. 2 people I know are moving into their own places. These are ladies I knew would strike it out on their own eventually but I didn’t know it was going to be so soon. It’s amazing where a little determination will get you. Knowing people that are actually moving into their own place makes the whole concept so realistic. There are plenty of people I know and hang out with but no one has there own place. This is such a wonderful thing and I hope they are both prepared for my company cause I plan to but the hell out of them....well at least one of them. In other news I’m so excited for the spring to come. I’m sick of being limited in my social activities ie: restaurant, bar, movies ect. When it warms up there are things to do outside and I’m all for that. I think I’m going to the National Arboretum tomorrow afternoon with Green Eyes since it’s supposed to be 70°.

Complaint for the Day

Today was the last portion of my doctor’s appt. the wonderful and oh so pleasant PAP. My appt was at noon, which translated to 1pm. I even go there early to see if that would help. To give me even more time constraints, I was scheduled to be at work at 2pm. Worst-case scenario I get seen at 1:30, I get to work by 2:30. Guess what time I was seen...3pm! Sigh, I sat patiently at first and I even told the person who takes your vitals that I had to be to work at 2, but that didn’t even help. I ended up not going into work, which sucks cause those were hours that I needed and missed out on. As Green says, there was a reason I didn’t go in, fine whatever. I was still miffed that I had to wait 20 years to get poked and prodded. Oh and the total for the office visit *drum roll* $290. In total for my dentist, doctor and eye exam for Peace Corps were looking in the price range of $1,000, and I’m only going to be reimbursed $200. That hurts my pockets beyond belief but, its all finished and now I can move to the next step in this process.

:amel:

REVELATION

I’m learning how to tell myself the truth. It’s not always an easy thing, but when you lie to yourself, you end up lying to those around you. Often times I’m presented with a question or a situation and my first inclination leans towards the negative or the unfavorable side for who ever the question or situation pertains to. And I’m a people pleaser and I hate to disappoint or make anyone upset. Of late, I’m starting to not worry about what others think and feel cause at the end of the day I have to be happy with the decisions I make. That person is not going to be with me and most times could care less about what I’m thinking or feeling. So Im going to start being honest with myself and other folks for that matter cause being nice all the time isn’t going to fly. I end up wasting time, money and effort and for nothing but to be irritated because I did something I didn’t wanna do in the first place. And if that means that I’m going to be in the house more often then not, that’s fine cause I’ll be putting my time and effort towards something I wanna do, not just doing something because I was asked.

:amel: