PMS Introspection

Life is so overwhelming and at times I feel like I don’t have a grasp of it. It is so important for me to portray myself as a stable intelligent woman who knows what I want out of life and knows how to get it, but most of the time I just feel like an adolescent who doesn’t know anything about it. I know that life is a learning process but I feel like I’m just going through the motions and not learning anything. It’s really scary to think about it cause I get worried about how I’m going to be 5 years down the road. It’s like I have a list of goals and accomplishments I’d like to achieve and I know what I need to do to get there but because I haven’t committed any of my life lessons to memory, I don’t really know how to get there. Scary thought isn’t it. I feel like I’m just missing something. Now being that I was brought up in a spiritual home, I could just say, if I got back into the church and feed my emaciated soul, things would probably get better and part of me honestly believes that. Spirituality could be the motivation and support i need to push me in the right direction. Another part of me is just longing for something miraculous to happen and just fix everything. That’s not realistic but hey, it nice to dream. What in the world am I going to do with myself?

...sigh...