Being idol really sucks. You have time to sit and think about everything. Things you should be doing, things you haven’t done and things you wanna do. And if you’re not constructive with your time, you can put yourself in to a horrible mood or even depress yourself. I should be chillin’ right now. Enjoying the fact that I don’t have to work, I don’t have class. Im in a place where I don’t have any other responsibility besides keeping the house clean, walking my dogs and paying car insurance and my cell phone bill. I have to work on occasion but not everyday. It’s quite nice, but I can’t enjoy it. I have a paper that I needs to be written and I just can’t muster up enough motivation, desire or any other emotion for that matter besides apathy. Ugh...
I pride myself as being a social butterfly, but this week has put me in check. I haven’t done anything all week. I was supposed to go to Love this evening with Jemies but I didn’t feel like it so I didn’t. Yesterday I was invited to go to Be Bar but I declined cause I didn’t feel like driving into the city or drinking for that matter. All that I can think about while I’ve been sitting on my couch for the past 2 days is being bunned up. There’s only one person that I’d really like to be hugged up with but she’s not available so I sit and wait. Not necessarily for her, but just for someone else to pique my interest. I may come off as some one that keeps a lot of women around but Im very selective with who I spend my time with.
Besides whining about not being responsible and not getting any, I’ve taken interest in the stock market. Partly because I have 75 shares of apple stock and 14.5 shares of a random mutual fund, both given to me by my grandmother. I’m all for making my money work for me. Nothing would give me more pleasure then to go play in Fiji for 2 years and come back worth $50,000. I wanna get one of those “stock market for idiots” books so that I can be some what knowledgeable about what my financial advisor is going to be doing with money.
Tomorrow, I have to work for a few hrs at the store. Maybe I’ll get to see Jemmies or someone tomorrow. I’m starting to get sick of looking at the inside of my house. I’m going to finish my beverage, color and watch...some movie.
---3 hr pause---
Just finished watching the 2nd episode of the L Word. It pay's to be a VIP sometimes.
:amel:
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