I have a lot to say but it’s 1:40am and I have class at 8am so I’m going to be very brief…
Words can be very powerful and convincing to those that don’t think highly of themselves. Telling some one that they are attractive, sexy, not feminine enough or that they are simple can really affect ones behavior and/or character. I mean everyone likes to receive compliments, its just a matter of what you do with them. People that are confident or have a pretty decent self-esteem don’t really take what others say to heart cause they know who and what they are no matter what anyone says or thinks. However, those that aren’t as strong can some times get carried away and believe what anyone tells them or act accordingly depending on what’s said. Having such an erratic personality is not the best because you can be easily influenced by anyone such as people that actually have your best interest at heart or those that know nothing about who you are and what you’re about. I wish that I was a stronger person and confident in who I am so that I wasn’t so easily influenced by others.
As I learn more and more about myself, I’m kinda appalled by how little I know about myself and the kind of person I am.
25 July 2005
18 July 2005
In Brief...
Chem- Prof is good, we do too much group work for my liking.. I have unintelligent ppl in my group and working with them on a daily basis is giving me more patience then a little bit. One week down three to go….
Work- Sale is over and I’ve been reduced to 16hrs a week. Please tell me what the hell I’m supposed to do with a $60 check?!
Women
-Peach is officially the first conniving person I’ve met. I’m mad I even allowed my self to be sucked into her fantasy world. I’m am disgusted by her actions and logic or lack there of
-I had to kick myself today cause I was reminded how I gave up the greatest opportunity to love someone and be loved in return by and intelligent, motivated and sexy woman.
-Made a new friend, we’ll see how this goes
Random
- Many people are selfish, impatient and horney. Those three things are a lethal combination
- The concept of a relationship has become so much more clear to me since HoSHI and I have separated and become friends again
-She is the epitome of sexy to me. She exudes it she is it and I get real pissed off knowing that I’ve only experienced the smallest fraction of it and will never get to experience it again. Her wife is going to be one satisfied woman…guaranteed!
Gurrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!…x10
I have a test in the morning that I haven’t finished preparing for, I didn’t do my homework, I was socialy over-stimulated today and I’m exhausted and won’t be back to functioning till Tuesday…
Consider yourself Updated…
Work- Sale is over and I’ve been reduced to 16hrs a week. Please tell me what the hell I’m supposed to do with a $60 check?!
Women
-Peach is officially the first conniving person I’ve met. I’m mad I even allowed my self to be sucked into her fantasy world. I’m am disgusted by her actions and logic or lack there of
-I had to kick myself today cause I was reminded how I gave up the greatest opportunity to love someone and be loved in return by and intelligent, motivated and sexy woman.
-Made a new friend, we’ll see how this goes
Random
- Many people are selfish, impatient and horney. Those three things are a lethal combination
- The concept of a relationship has become so much more clear to me since HoSHI and I have separated and become friends again
-She is the epitome of sexy to me. She exudes it she is it and I get real pissed off knowing that I’ve only experienced the smallest fraction of it and will never get to experience it again. Her wife is going to be one satisfied woman…guaranteed!
I have a test in the morning that I haven’t finished preparing for, I didn’t do my homework, I was socialy over-stimulated today and I’m exhausted and won’t be back to functioning till Tuesday…
Consider yourself Updated…
09 July 2005
Karma and Nature
Karma (n): 1The total effect of ones conduct 2 believed in Buddhism and Hinduism to determine ones destiny in a future life 3 Fate
I experience positive Karma the other day and I had to smile to myself cause it came unexpectedly. I usually don’t refer to things as Karma, I just say it’s a blessing. But at any rate I was depositing my laughable pay check in the bank and I saw this girl I knew walking to the bus stop. So I stopped and took her to the station. As she thanked me for taking her, I told her it was no problem and that I didn’t mind taking her cause I’m sure the favor will be repaid at some point in time. Well sure enough, mommy and I went to Best Buy later in the day so she could buy a jump drive and I stopped by the music section to see if Raheem DeVaughn’s album was around. Of course it was sold out but as we were walking up to the counter, the girl that we had talked to about the album before, brought me a copy. I’m not sure if it was one they had in the back or her copy or what, but I had a copy of the sold out album in my hand and I wasn’t complaining.
My patience has finally paid off. HoShi and I are in a comfortable place in our friendship. It was never her with the problem, It was me. I still had feelings for her. I still care for her but its 98.6% on a friendship level. She talks about the current at length and it doesn’t bother me anymore. I’m glad that she’s opening up more to me about her and other stuff that’s going on in her life. Although she can be vary harsh at times, I know she does it because she cares and I truly value her opinion.
In other unimportant news, Peach’s Karma came around to her. The new chick she was pursuing dropped her on her ass. It made me feel a little better the other day cause I was really pissed about what happed. But I was talking to her roommate and she told me that I should take what happen as a positive thing cause she’s got issues and I shouldn't be involved with some one like that. I never thought about it like that so I’m not going to trip anymore.
I didn’t feel like being in the house another beautiful day so I woke up this morning, made myself some pancakes and sausage and took my ass to the park to chill out and enjoy the sun. I walked through this one park that was by me and listened to Raheem’s album. While i was walking i saw on of thoes fat green caterpillers and I was so excited...i'm such a nature nerd. Then I tried to find this other park out in Laural. I took me a while but I finally found it. There was a lake with frogs and turtles so you know I was happy. I parked myself under a tree on my Blues Clues fleece blanket and ate my little cranberry almond snack, listened to some more music and read the Decameron. It was so nice just to sit, and I really didn’t have a problem being by myself, I mean how many people do you know that wouldn’t mind sitting in the sun for several hours doing nothing. Today was a me day and I thoroughly enjoyed it.
:amel:
I experience positive Karma the other day and I had to smile to myself cause it came unexpectedly. I usually don’t refer to things as Karma, I just say it’s a blessing. But at any rate I was depositing my laughable pay check in the bank and I saw this girl I knew walking to the bus stop. So I stopped and took her to the station. As she thanked me for taking her, I told her it was no problem and that I didn’t mind taking her cause I’m sure the favor will be repaid at some point in time. Well sure enough, mommy and I went to Best Buy later in the day so she could buy a jump drive and I stopped by the music section to see if Raheem DeVaughn’s album was around. Of course it was sold out but as we were walking up to the counter, the girl that we had talked to about the album before, brought me a copy. I’m not sure if it was one they had in the back or her copy or what, but I had a copy of the sold out album in my hand and I wasn’t complaining.
My patience has finally paid off. HoShi and I are in a comfortable place in our friendship. It was never her with the problem, It was me. I still had feelings for her. I still care for her but its 98.6% on a friendship level. She talks about the current at length and it doesn’t bother me anymore. I’m glad that she’s opening up more to me about her and other stuff that’s going on in her life. Although she can be vary harsh at times, I know she does it because she cares and I truly value her opinion.
In other unimportant news, Peach’s Karma came around to her. The new chick she was pursuing dropped her on her ass. It made me feel a little better the other day cause I was really pissed about what happed. But I was talking to her roommate and she told me that I should take what happen as a positive thing cause she’s got issues and I shouldn't be involved with some one like that. I never thought about it like that so I’m not going to trip anymore.
I didn’t feel like being in the house another beautiful day so I woke up this morning, made myself some pancakes and sausage and took my ass to the park to chill out and enjoy the sun. I walked through this one park that was by me and listened to Raheem’s album. While i was walking i saw on of thoes fat green caterpillers and I was so excited...i'm such a nature nerd. Then I tried to find this other park out in Laural. I took me a while but I finally found it. There was a lake with frogs and turtles so you know I was happy. I parked myself under a tree on my Blues Clues fleece blanket and ate my little cranberry almond snack, listened to some more music and read the Decameron. It was so nice just to sit, and I really didn’t have a problem being by myself, I mean how many people do you know that wouldn’t mind sitting in the sun for several hours doing nothing. Today was a me day and I thoroughly enjoyed it.
:amel:
03 July 2005
Fools Rush In
I’ve learned from past relationships that I have a tendency to get attached to people very quickly. So quickly that I often don’t give myself enough time to really get to know the person before I’m treating them like my girlfriend. For example, this Peach situation. In all honesty, I’ve only known the girl for a few weeks and I must admit I’m kind of attached. However, not as attached, as I would be if she weren’t acting the way she was. Not talking to me, acting as if I’m not around, getting mad at me for nothing. She’s making my job of distancing myself from her a lot easier, cause for real, I don’t need this and I’m better then some chick who wants me around some of the time. I just feel bad for her cause she’s getting herself into things that she knows isn’t going to bring about any good. But, she’s grown and if she’d rather involve herself in something pointless then, that’s on her. She’s gotta learn. I just hope she knows, I’m not going to stick around to help her put herself back together. She missed out on a good thing
I wanna talk to HoShi about this and see what she has to say. That should be an interesting convo. Our msg board is a big ass orgy waiting to happen, I swear...
:amel:
I wanna talk to HoShi about this and see what she has to say. That should be an interesting convo. Our msg board is a big ass orgy waiting to happen, I swear...
:amel:
01 July 2005
Being a Bum & Georgia Peaches
I’m trying really hard to enjoying being a bum but I kinda feel like I need to be doing something or out somewhere. I’m realizing that I really don’t like to sit still for any length of time. I say I’m trying to enjoy this time cause I start my summer class in a little over a week and I’ll still be working so I know the amount of time I’ll have to sleep in and sit on the computer all day will decrease drastically.
I had a second interview at the GAP cause I waited too long to call them back. It was really interestingly cause the guy who interviewed me, made me wait 15mins while he was folding clothes…WTF. I was really pissed and wanted to call some one but I thought to myself, he’s probably just watching to see what I do. That’s me always the rational one. So I just waited and when he was finally ready to interview me, he couldn’t find my application. Then he interviewed me in the food court of the mall. It was just an atypical interview. We did however have a conversation about dogs and how he didn’t like animals but he and his partner were getting a Husky and a Rocwiller (sp)….Random but, well see what happens. I really don’t care to work at that one, I just wanna get in with the company and right now, my pinky tow is still in the door.
Some Excitement
On Monday night I have a conversation with Peach and she’s tellin’ me how much she misses me and wants me to be there with her. So I say to her, I’ll come see you Tuesday and spend the night. Tuesday comes and we were going to try and go to the zoo, but that didn’t happen cause we got up late. So I’m all packed and ready to go at 1pm and I close my door and realize that my keys are sitting on the damn table inside! Of course, we don’t have a key anywhere outside the house and mommy is at work with out a cell phone. So, I’m pretty much screwed. I try and get in through a window but the inside locks are on so….no good. All the other windows are no good either so about an hour later I get in through a basement window that magically falls open…YaY. I was so excited. At any rate, I get to Peach’s and she on the computer…and doesn’t get off for another hour and change. I mean, barely greets me. So, as usual, I don’t say anything right away. We end up going out with Epp and get some dinner and before we went home, we picked up some movies. Once we got back to the house…this chick gets back on the damn computer!!! Are you fu@king serous, I mean do you not have someone visiting you right now and your going to be on the computer chattin’ it up with folks. I was pissed. When she finally did get off, she pretty much went right to sleep…oh yea, and I couldn’t touch her cause, “it puts her in her feelings”. OMG, what a waist of time. And I still haven’t talked to her.
I’m one that likes for things to be discussed so that everyone is on the same page, cause I hate for sh!t to happened and ppl think that nothing is wrong. It just real aggravates me cause I don’t know what’s going on in her head right now. I mean is this her way to try and get rid of her feelings for me or is she trying to cut me off or what? I know she’s not stupid and knows that she was wrong, and the fact that we haven’t talked about it is really getting to me, its like she doesn’t care at all. So that was my excitement for the week. I bet I wouldn’t have to go through this bullsh!t with the Artist.
:amel:
I had a second interview at the GAP cause I waited too long to call them back. It was really interestingly cause the guy who interviewed me, made me wait 15mins while he was folding clothes…WTF. I was really pissed and wanted to call some one but I thought to myself, he’s probably just watching to see what I do. That’s me always the rational one. So I just waited and when he was finally ready to interview me, he couldn’t find my application. Then he interviewed me in the food court of the mall. It was just an atypical interview. We did however have a conversation about dogs and how he didn’t like animals but he and his partner were getting a Husky and a Rocwiller (sp)….Random but, well see what happens. I really don’t care to work at that one, I just wanna get in with the company and right now, my pinky tow is still in the door.
Some Excitement
On Monday night I have a conversation with Peach and she’s tellin’ me how much she misses me and wants me to be there with her. So I say to her, I’ll come see you Tuesday and spend the night. Tuesday comes and we were going to try and go to the zoo, but that didn’t happen cause we got up late. So I’m all packed and ready to go at 1pm and I close my door and realize that my keys are sitting on the damn table inside! Of course, we don’t have a key anywhere outside the house and mommy is at work with out a cell phone. So, I’m pretty much screwed. I try and get in through a window but the inside locks are on so….no good. All the other windows are no good either so about an hour later I get in through a basement window that magically falls open…YaY. I was so excited. At any rate, I get to Peach’s and she on the computer…and doesn’t get off for another hour and change. I mean, barely greets me. So, as usual, I don’t say anything right away. We end up going out with Epp and get some dinner and before we went home, we picked up some movies. Once we got back to the house…this chick gets back on the damn computer!!! Are you fu@king serous, I mean do you not have someone visiting you right now and your going to be on the computer chattin’ it up with folks. I was pissed. When she finally did get off, she pretty much went right to sleep…oh yea, and I couldn’t touch her cause, “it puts her in her feelings”. OMG, what a waist of time. And I still haven’t talked to her.
I’m one that likes for things to be discussed so that everyone is on the same page, cause I hate for sh!t to happened and ppl think that nothing is wrong. It just real aggravates me cause I don’t know what’s going on in her head right now. I mean is this her way to try and get rid of her feelings for me or is she trying to cut me off or what? I know she’s not stupid and knows that she was wrong, and the fact that we haven’t talked about it is really getting to me, its like she doesn’t care at all. So that was my excitement for the week. I bet I wouldn’t have to go through this bullsh!t with the Artist.
:amel:
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