I have no plans for the weekend and I get paid in approximately *looks at clock in the corner of the screen* 1 hour and 22 mins. Gotta love that direct deposit. Maybe that’s a good thing, I should spend some time with my family cause I’ve been gone a lot, but that’s nothing new. I think I might get my new phone this weekend. I wanna keep the same number but I wanna put it in my name and to do that takes six months...riiight. So, I’m thinking perhaps I’ll just get a new number and it will mark a new period in my life. Im reading too much into this but on the upside, all the ppl who have my number and shouldn’t...won’t. That’s always a plus. I wanna go shopping. Annapolis Mall anyone?

:amel:

Thoughts on Communication

What makes communication so difficult? It is often times the reasons relationships fail and why people get involved in things that they probably would not have if things were understood from the beginning. Sometimes people choose not to communicate their thoughts and feelings because they are worried about hurting someone or because they don’t wanna face a certain truth. Either two things happen when communication fails; its either brought to someone’s attention and the misunderstanding is rectified, or it goes unresolved. I find the later of the two to be very frustrating because I’m a person that needs clarity. I can’t just leave things open ended because it festers and creates anger and bitterness. The issue is, I’ve mad and effort to communicate but it takes two, and I’m just not being heard. This is the most asinine situation ever in life and I’m mad at myself for even wasting my time venting about it. But obviously, I feel some type of way other wise, I wouldn’t have written a paragraph about it. There are just so many things that are up in the air and I don’t understand what happened.

I won’t be mad, I’m not going to be hurt, JUST TALK TO ME!
I’m so fu@kin’ pathetic

It’s so nice to get a paycheck every week. Now, just one more and I can get my phone. I swear it was in my dream last night, which means I’ll be getting it very soon. I’m working tonight and tomorrow afternoon. After that, I’ll be meeting Ms. Dwats at the Caribbean Fest and then conclude the night with a little shaking of the booty at the Apex. Sunday, I have a call in shift and then… absolutely nothing. Maybe I’ll spend some time with the family…Or perhaps Ms. MelD, Lord knows I haven’t talked to or seen her in a minute DOT Dot dot

Simone finally got her place in Philly and is moving on Monday. I can’t wait to go see her. No matter how long we go with out talking, we still pick up right where we left. We have such an interesting relationship. I had to smile cause her ex knows who I am and he got a little snippy when I called her. I tell you people function in such unique ways.

:amel:

Open the Flood Gates

A brief Self-Reflection…
I let the most insignificant things get to me and that is a flaw. It causes unnecessary stress and I end up giving life to things that aren’t even there.

I also have a tendency to think that everything is about me. This in turn makes me overly sensitive to certain folks and what’s going on in their life. Don’t get me wrong, I am fully aware that the world doesn’t revolve around me and I don’t think it should. I’m going to attribute this one to being an only child *smile*

Weekend Festivities
Friday- went to LOVE with Jemmies
Was clearly reminded why SOME men disgust me. Since when has it become ok for a man to grab you by the arm to try and get your attention?! Why do you need drive 2mph attempting to talk to a woman who’s walking to her car and when she doesn’t give you any play, you holla at the chick right behind her?! Gurrrr!

Saturday- Worked
Bath and Body Works 1-5 and GMR 9-3

Sunday- Worked...straight face...and Bmore
After working all day Saturday, I was thinking yes, I can sleep in and relax but oh no…I had a call in shift from 3-7. I’m thinking its Sunday and Fathers Day, they won’t need me. Made plans to go down to Bmore to hang out with MelD and then go to the Prestige Ball later that night. Well I ended up having to go into work to do floor set. Then I drove out to Bmore for the block party to meet up with MelD and some of her folks. After I got out there and parked I was in a funky mood because I semi got lost. There were mad people out there of all kinds. I never got out of my mood so I didn’t stay long… you can refer to the above post for my feelings for the rest of the night.

I feel like my summer is getting ready to change...

:amel:

Irritated x10

Why amel is PISSED...
Wasted ¼ tank of gas driving to and getting lost in Bmore
Was put in an awkward situation
Didn’t go to the Prestige Ball
Overall, I wasted my time for absolutely nothing.

Lots of things are floating through my mind right now. I really wish I could read minds so I can determine if I wanna deal with the bullsh!t or not.

Trial and Error

Everyone serves a purpose right… I mean, you meet some one and sometimes they stick around for a while. Other times they’re there one min and gone the next. That’s just the way that life goes. For once I wish that I’d meet some one that would stick around for a while. And I ‘m not necessarily talking about some one I’m romantically involved with. I’m talking about meeting someone, clicking with them and then staring a genuine friendship that last longer then a season. I’m getting too used to people coming and going out of my life and I shouldn’t be. Now granted, people say that you only have so many close friends and the rest should be acquaintances and to a certain extent, I agree with that. But what does that say about me? I mean if I meet some one and all I do is talk about them for a few months and next thing you know I got someone else name coming out my mouth. I guess I’ll have to try again…

*My momentary thoughts at 4:16pm on 14 June 2006*

They're not your Titties...lol

*Random Question*
Why is it that when you start dating someone new, your thoughts, conversation and free time want to be about or with that person? I mean even if you’re not doing anything in particular but being in their presence. I mean in your mind, you go through the logical thought process: if you spend too much time with the person, a number of things could go wrong. The relationship could move in a direction that it shouldn’t, you’ll push the person away by being too clingy or the big one that has happen before, you’ll catch feelings too fast and the person won’t feel the same way (that’s a doosey folks). That’s the mind; the body and heart are slowly counting the days till the next time you get to see them. Matters of the heart are so tricky….

This weekends GMR shifts weren’t that bad. Friday I worked with Kevin out in VA. It was an extremely slow night and we were right over by MD’s house. I wish he could have just dropped me off. Saturday I was waiting on Jemmies to get to my house from Bmore and we ended up being late. We had to work LOVE the whole night. At first it kinda sucked but after a while it wasn’t that bad. It was international night and there were a lot of nice looking folks there. We got pretty close to our goal but I was still the slacker of the night.

Sunday I went to church and the Pastor was actually there for a change. He gave a good word as usual and it was very applicable to a couple of things going on in my life. He spoke on II Timothy 2:1-3 which said that you have endure hard times to get to where GOD needs you to be. Whatever may happen in your life might not be in your plan, but it’s in HIS plan and its for a reason. So, it was nice to be encouraged and know that this little school situation is for a reason and that it’s not necessarily a bad thing. It may not be clear to me now but it will down the road.

After church I went to B &BW for a couple of hours and Meldee came to see me towards the end of my shift. *big cheese* She came to the house, we had dinner and then went a got Dwats from work. We went to the usual spot, smoked some apricot shi-sha and watched Arabic music videos. Pretty decent trip over all even though I was exhausted from work from the night before. Overall, this weekend gets a 7 and only because of Sunday….

Tomorrow is my first day in the field with the AMRI group. I’m really excited because if I can use the data we collect, I can use this time as an independent study, get credit for it and not have to go back to ohio in the spring. This is a VERY good thing. I’ve been planning Dwats 21st Birthday excursion and I’m really excited about it. I think she’ll be very pleased

Over and Out
:amel:

Hey Doctor

Started GMR on Friday…Um, yea absolutely nothing like the Columbus team. The DC 1 team was so disorganized and we were lost or looking for parking 3 of the 6 hours we were out. I was sick and the ppl I was driving with were idiots. Par exampla: 2 white folks talking about the origin of slavery…WTF. As Ms. MD put it, “just because you didn’t start it doesn’t make you any less wrong…uhh, new topic”. Gurr, but I’m not complaining cause that was $100 for the night.

Saturday and part of Sunday was spent with Ms. MD. We went to Olive Garden, had a wonderful meal and then we were supposed to go to the movies. Well umm, we were $2.50 short so we opted to go back to the house, cuddle up and watch the Good Son. We played speed had good conversation about each other’s characteristics and personality traits/flaws and didn’t go to bed till 6am. Overall, a very good time. I left her house kinda late cause she didn’t wanna get up when we were supposed to and was a little late to training for GRM. It was pretty much 3 hours of review plus some new info. Jemmies and I came in together and grabbed two seats in the front row. After things got started, we looked around, and the room was definitely segregated. All the white folks were on the right side of room and the coloreds were on the left. We made a mental note of it and continued playing our box game on the note pads they had supplied us with. It’s funny, no matter how old you get, you stick to your comfort zone no matter the benefits or disadvantages.

I’m pretty tired and I have work at B&BW at 10am so I’m going to bed until Ms. MD calls to let me know she made it home safe from Bmore.

:amel:

First...

So I was flying down 495 this evening headed out to VA and there was an older green Monty Carlo following me. Now of course, I look in the rearview to see if there are any lights in the car…you know those undercover cops will get you. I don’t see anything so I continue speeding well above the 55 mph speed limit, going back and forth between lanes. A few miles later, the car is still following me so I’m thinking it’s a game, you know we’re following each other cause where finding all the holes in traffic to get around the slow folks…sidenote: I make driving a game, its more exciting that way… At any rate after about 7 minutes of speeding the green normal looking Monty Carlo, flashes police lights….AT THAT POINT, I SH!TTED ON MYSELF. It’s a wrap, I’m bout to get my license take away or at least, a $200 ticket. To my COMPLETE surprise, the off-duty cop (I could only assume) pulls next to me and mouths the words “slow down”. I obliging nodded my head and reduced my speed to 65mph immediately. He continued down 495 slowing down traffic and got off at the next exit. IT WAS ONLY THROUGH THE GRACE OF GOD THAT I WAS NOT PULLED OVER. I said my prayer of thanks and struggled to get my vehicle above 70mph, not that I should have been doing that anyway. Hallelujah and Thank You Jesus was all I could say.

I went to B&BW to find out when I can be put in the system and Sherry told me to come in tomorrow and scheduled me for Sunday’s floor set. It’s nice to just walk in a place and get a job. After all that I decided I would rather do nothing in VA with MD then at home so I surprised her and drove out to see her. I think I’m seeing her too much, cause you know when you start spending every free moment with someone things become rushed and I really don’t want that. Been there, done that. We need to have time to actually miss each other. I’m going to hang out with her this weekend, and then I’m going to chill out for a bit. It’s not what I wanna do but it’s what I need to do to ensure that she sticks around for a bit.

:amel:

DOT...Dot...dot

Too much has happened since the last time I wrote. In short, I got my car towed, wasted a ½ tank of gas being lost in VA rush hour traffic, met a new lady, went to a pride party. And this is just the beginning of June. It may not seem like a lot but each of the above events span over 2 days.

I start work on Friday…YAY!!! And Jemies will probably be working with me. Still haven’t head back from the NWF job. Hopefully, I’ll hear at the end of the week. My advisor e-mailed me some alternatives to coming back to OWU in the spring so I’m excited about that. If I don’t have to go back to Ohio, that just opens up a lot of opportunities for me. I could get a permanent job or even look at apartments. That’s definitely a long shot since I do still plan on doing the Peace Corps as soon as I get my degree.

My family drives me crazy on a daily basis. Running around like a little slave child for my granny and lending an ear to my mom when she gets home from work. I still just like to escape sometimes and be around my peers. For example, this weekend I will be disappearing to VA to spend some time with the new lady. I met her on Friday and we just clicked. I’ve seen her twice since I met her. I’m just trying to take my time and get to know her.

Ms. Bailey, and I talked about the comment I made about her in a previous post. I made an incorrect assumption and she wanted to see what was up with me. She wanted to talk it out and see why I said what I said. We had a decent phone convo and did a little catching up. It was definitely and awkward at first because I don’t deal with confrontation well, but I did a lot of listening and not much talking and I guess things will be what they will be. She’s changed and deals with things differently so that’s good for her. Maybe we will build a stable friendship or perhaps that will be the last conversation I have with her. Only time will tell. And since I’ve been trying to write this entry for the past 2 days and I just wanna post something, I’m going to end it here.

:amel: