Half a Year in Review

January 31st, the last day of 2006. Let’s do a brief year in review for my enjoyment.

Took a 6am class whose material I will use for the rest of my life
“Graduated” with my class even though I failed a class
My granny visited for the whole summer
When to Philly for the for the first time
An old friend came back around a now as a stable spot in my life
My best friend moved to Ghana...come back LizO
My Granny passed away
Got into my first accident that was actually my fault...just a fender bender not to worry
Added 3 ppl to the list and did something new...eh

Those are just the things that come to mind off the top. Not to mention all the life lessons I’ve learned from doing this whole dating thing, which I thought, was new to me but really isn’t. I’m getting ready to get on a plane to head back home from packing up my Granny’s House which still isn’t complete and we had 2 weeks to do it. Part of the reason we didn’t was because we were waiting on my uncle to come through to pick out the things he wanted this past week, but because my uncle is…special, he didn’t show. In other words, we really didn’t start working till Wednesday afternoon. But we got a lot accomplished and our cool ass realtor is going to take care of the rest. At this point, I kinda don’t care about it cause I’m going home to a party. There are things on my to do list today… That’s sleep, drink and chill in my hotel with my friends. I’ve been waiting for this day for the past month but specifically for the past 2 weeks I’ve been here. MoX, here I come. If I can sneak out a few pics of the festivites, perhaps I will.


:amel:

This week is going to be relatively challenging. I have 2 exams and a paper to complete before Sunday. Now, if I do what I’m supposed to do it shouldn’t be a problem getting all this stuff taken care of but we know me, anything distracts me. Let’s just think positive thoughts and I’ll do my best to get it done.

I worked my bar job Friday and Saturday night and that went over pretty well. It was so cold on Friday and there weren’t that many ppl out at Heaven and Hell. Not to mention the heat wasn’t working upstairs in the club. Needless to say, I stayed down stairs and watched the Miami and Denver game. I did get 2 drinks and a shot though, and liquor is always a plus on the job. Saturday night, we only had a few lighters to give away, 44 to be exact so me and my other teammates only had to do 11 surveys apiece. On a normal night our goal is 30, so you can see why I was so excited. We were in and out in 45mins and definitely got paid for 8 hrs. Don’t you wish you had my job?

Tomorrow I have to work at B&BW and when get off, I’m going to go hang out with Grasshopper for the remainder of the day. We’ll finally get some quality “lay up under each other” time and that comes vary rarely. I have to savor as much of it as possible since I won’t see her for 2 weeks after that *sigh*

:amel:

Moves to the other End of the Train...

Tomorrow is the big day. I have my Peace Corps interview at 9:30am in Arlington, Va. I’m not nervous at the moment but I probably will be come 9am. This is the first step in the Peace Corps application process…well actually, it’s the second. You submit your app, you’re interviewed, then you have to pass a background check and get a physical. Once all the ”preliminary stuff is done, then you have to be nominated by your regional office and then I go through some training for whatever I’m going to be doing and then they ship me off some where for 2 years. I couldn’t be more excited to start this process. I had to put it on hold temporarily because of the chem. thing but now I’m back on track. I just feel like this is the next step for me, cause I wasn’t feeling grad school seeing as though I just barely made it out of undergrad. And I wasn’t feeling jumping right into the work force especially after I found out all the places I could travel and things I could be doing with the Peace Corps. So, keep me lifted in prayer that I make a wonderful impression on these folks so they’ll nominate me.
In other news...I just realized that I have a week and a half before I have to go back to Cali. I can not express in words how much I am dreading going out there. The only solace I have is that I’ll be by the beach and that my cousins will be around…at least I think. I don’t know anyone out there and I won’t have a car. I’m going to be stuck in house where I’m used to my granny being there except she won’t be. And it Christmas...sheesh! I just hope we get everything done so no one has to go back and as rude as it sounds if we don’t finish, I’m not going back to help out.
On the up side the day I get back I will be going straight to my hotel for my New Years Party I’m having with some friends of mine. I booked a huge room in a Georgetown hotel (trust, I’m not ballin’) for two nights so that my self and 5 other friends plus whomever they decided to invite can chill out, get drunk and have a big lesbian orgy. I’m really excited about just being in a hotel, I love hotels. Maybe its just cause I don’t have my own space anymore...IDK. And that not having my own space thing...so crampin' dating/sex life ugh
I took Grasshopper to the paint your own pottery place . She had a good time and really liked the date (2pts for me!). Neither one of us finished so we have to go back, and we’ll definitely be going back to paint some more. I need to be sleep


:amel:

1 part Moet 1 part X-Rated

Last night, I went out to Ft. Washington. I usually never head out that way cause is supper far but one of my friends just got a house out there so I wanted to see it. Plus Pie was having a get-together out that way. Ky’s new house is re-damn-diculous. It’s huge! Her brother and his friend live in the basement, which is basically a finished apartment, and Ky and her friend have the upstairs. The house is so nice. I just wish she didn’t live so far so I would go bug her on the regular. After I left her house I went to Pie’s house, which was another ridiculously large house. She actually lives with her grandparents. Everything was real chill until Tam and Gusto got there with half the liquor store in tow. Tam got behind the bar and started mixing stuff. Next thing we knew, everyone was supper drunk trying to play spades and it just wasn’t working out. One person passed out and someone else got sick...*note to self: get tam to bartend at the new years party* All in all it was a good time. I woke up this morning with a slight head ach but it’s way gone now. I bout to go in to work for the floorset, I just hope I’m not their till midnight. I’m not feeling that in my sprit

:amel:

I've been Infected by the writting Bug...yet Again

Don’t you just love how I update every 3-6 months it’s great. I just get in to those moods were I wanna write about what’s going on with me. That’s the purpose of a blog anyway…right….RIGHT. So with that being said…
It’s currently the end of autumn, moving quickly in to winter and some things have obviously changed. I’m currently taking Chem II at PGCC and doing a distance learning directed reading about the South Pacific at my school. Plan is...
C in CHEM + A in the directed reading = BA Zoolgy
As of right now, the A is looking pretty good, I’ll get back to you on the Chem class in 2 weeks.Still working at Bath & Body Works and getting paid nothing and still doing the marketing job. bills are getting paid so no complaints in that arena. Energy came back around towards the end of the summer and we were kickin' it hard for a while. Now she's doing the work thing and I’m cool with that. LizO is in Ghana as of Nov 13, my Goose passed away Sep 19 and I’m going back to Cali to help Mommy pack up the house on Dec 17. I'm sure there's some other small stuff that took place between June and now but it's not coming to mind.
Ok now the good stuff. I’M DATING!
It's been a long time coming but I’ve finally got a nice group of ladies to entertain me (sounds kinda pimpish but I’m not meaning to be). Since i got out of my last serious relationship, i haven't had too much luck in the dating arena. I'd usually find some one pretty cool and then a month later, they'd be gone. Chalk it up to typical lesbian behavior. But at the moment I've been kickin' it pretty hard with one in particular Grasshopper (formerly MelD), she came back around in September or so and we've been enjoying each others company...a lot. There's Missy who's been around since the summer. She was crowding me in the beginning but she chilled out. I don't get to see her too often but she makes me smile too. There's someone else but in light of my track record, i'm not even going to mention her. She'll probably just end up being a friend although she's supper duper hot and has an ass like no other *drools*
Since this is the first entry in a while, I’m going to go ahead and end it. You'll get more details as i write more. I'm off to go enjoy my Saturday off, maybe I’ll call Missy

:amel:

:A Druken Post:

Humm, 7:20pm and I’m already…very buzzed. No particular reason. Just got off work, visited a friend and decided to have a corona and 2 Hawaiian Punch’s. I don’t know. Sometimes you just have a moment. So, to update: Ms. MelD has come and gone, I still don’t know what happened. I’m on my grind and kickin’ it on a regular basis. This past week, went to eye bar and bohemian caverns. At the eye bar, I saw Ms. Mariama Seasay, my crush from my freshman year in high school. It was very nice to see her and she hasn’t changed much….Ok, I’m real drunk. I took Ms. T (new to yall, not to me) to Bohemian Caverns and saw this group Soulacoustic. I’m sure I spelled that wrong but they were really good. I wanted to ask the guitarist what kind of guitar he was playing but I couldn’t get his attention between sets. It’s ok, mine is coming. Dwats’ Bday is coming up and I can’t wait. Mom and Goose are still driving me crazy especially my mom, but I know it’s only temporary. I can handle it….Umm, off to nap I go. Good Lord

:amel:

I have no plans for the weekend and I get paid in approximately *looks at clock in the corner of the screen* 1 hour and 22 mins. Gotta love that direct deposit. Maybe that’s a good thing, I should spend some time with my family cause I’ve been gone a lot, but that’s nothing new. I think I might get my new phone this weekend. I wanna keep the same number but I wanna put it in my name and to do that takes six months...riiight. So, I’m thinking perhaps I’ll just get a new number and it will mark a new period in my life. Im reading too much into this but on the upside, all the ppl who have my number and shouldn’t...won’t. That’s always a plus. I wanna go shopping. Annapolis Mall anyone?

:amel:

Thoughts on Communication

What makes communication so difficult? It is often times the reasons relationships fail and why people get involved in things that they probably would not have if things were understood from the beginning. Sometimes people choose not to communicate their thoughts and feelings because they are worried about hurting someone or because they don’t wanna face a certain truth. Either two things happen when communication fails; its either brought to someone’s attention and the misunderstanding is rectified, or it goes unresolved. I find the later of the two to be very frustrating because I’m a person that needs clarity. I can’t just leave things open ended because it festers and creates anger and bitterness. The issue is, I’ve mad and effort to communicate but it takes two, and I’m just not being heard. This is the most asinine situation ever in life and I’m mad at myself for even wasting my time venting about it. But obviously, I feel some type of way other wise, I wouldn’t have written a paragraph about it. There are just so many things that are up in the air and I don’t understand what happened.

I won’t be mad, I’m not going to be hurt, JUST TALK TO ME!
I’m so fu@kin’ pathetic

It’s so nice to get a paycheck every week. Now, just one more and I can get my phone. I swear it was in my dream last night, which means I’ll be getting it very soon. I’m working tonight and tomorrow afternoon. After that, I’ll be meeting Ms. Dwats at the Caribbean Fest and then conclude the night with a little shaking of the booty at the Apex. Sunday, I have a call in shift and then… absolutely nothing. Maybe I’ll spend some time with the family…Or perhaps Ms. MelD, Lord knows I haven’t talked to or seen her in a minute DOT Dot dot

Simone finally got her place in Philly and is moving on Monday. I can’t wait to go see her. No matter how long we go with out talking, we still pick up right where we left. We have such an interesting relationship. I had to smile cause her ex knows who I am and he got a little snippy when I called her. I tell you people function in such unique ways.

:amel:

Open the Flood Gates

A brief Self-Reflection…
I let the most insignificant things get to me and that is a flaw. It causes unnecessary stress and I end up giving life to things that aren’t even there.

I also have a tendency to think that everything is about me. This in turn makes me overly sensitive to certain folks and what’s going on in their life. Don’t get me wrong, I am fully aware that the world doesn’t revolve around me and I don’t think it should. I’m going to attribute this one to being an only child *smile*

Weekend Festivities
Friday- went to LOVE with Jemmies
Was clearly reminded why SOME men disgust me. Since when has it become ok for a man to grab you by the arm to try and get your attention?! Why do you need drive 2mph attempting to talk to a woman who’s walking to her car and when she doesn’t give you any play, you holla at the chick right behind her?! Gurrrr!

Saturday- Worked
Bath and Body Works 1-5 and GMR 9-3

Sunday- Worked...straight face...and Bmore
After working all day Saturday, I was thinking yes, I can sleep in and relax but oh no…I had a call in shift from 3-7. I’m thinking its Sunday and Fathers Day, they won’t need me. Made plans to go down to Bmore to hang out with MelD and then go to the Prestige Ball later that night. Well I ended up having to go into work to do floor set. Then I drove out to Bmore for the block party to meet up with MelD and some of her folks. After I got out there and parked I was in a funky mood because I semi got lost. There were mad people out there of all kinds. I never got out of my mood so I didn’t stay long… you can refer to the above post for my feelings for the rest of the night.

I feel like my summer is getting ready to change...

:amel:

Irritated x10

Why amel is PISSED...
Wasted ¼ tank of gas driving to and getting lost in Bmore
Was put in an awkward situation
Didn’t go to the Prestige Ball
Overall, I wasted my time for absolutely nothing.

Lots of things are floating through my mind right now. I really wish I could read minds so I can determine if I wanna deal with the bullsh!t or not.

Trial and Error

Everyone serves a purpose right… I mean, you meet some one and sometimes they stick around for a while. Other times they’re there one min and gone the next. That’s just the way that life goes. For once I wish that I’d meet some one that would stick around for a while. And I ‘m not necessarily talking about some one I’m romantically involved with. I’m talking about meeting someone, clicking with them and then staring a genuine friendship that last longer then a season. I’m getting too used to people coming and going out of my life and I shouldn’t be. Now granted, people say that you only have so many close friends and the rest should be acquaintances and to a certain extent, I agree with that. But what does that say about me? I mean if I meet some one and all I do is talk about them for a few months and next thing you know I got someone else name coming out my mouth. I guess I’ll have to try again…

*My momentary thoughts at 4:16pm on 14 June 2006*

They're not your Titties...lol

*Random Question*
Why is it that when you start dating someone new, your thoughts, conversation and free time want to be about or with that person? I mean even if you’re not doing anything in particular but being in their presence. I mean in your mind, you go through the logical thought process: if you spend too much time with the person, a number of things could go wrong. The relationship could move in a direction that it shouldn’t, you’ll push the person away by being too clingy or the big one that has happen before, you’ll catch feelings too fast and the person won’t feel the same way (that’s a doosey folks). That’s the mind; the body and heart are slowly counting the days till the next time you get to see them. Matters of the heart are so tricky….

This weekends GMR shifts weren’t that bad. Friday I worked with Kevin out in VA. It was an extremely slow night and we were right over by MD’s house. I wish he could have just dropped me off. Saturday I was waiting on Jemmies to get to my house from Bmore and we ended up being late. We had to work LOVE the whole night. At first it kinda sucked but after a while it wasn’t that bad. It was international night and there were a lot of nice looking folks there. We got pretty close to our goal but I was still the slacker of the night.

Sunday I went to church and the Pastor was actually there for a change. He gave a good word as usual and it was very applicable to a couple of things going on in my life. He spoke on II Timothy 2:1-3 which said that you have endure hard times to get to where GOD needs you to be. Whatever may happen in your life might not be in your plan, but it’s in HIS plan and its for a reason. So, it was nice to be encouraged and know that this little school situation is for a reason and that it’s not necessarily a bad thing. It may not be clear to me now but it will down the road.

After church I went to B &BW for a couple of hours and Meldee came to see me towards the end of my shift. *big cheese* She came to the house, we had dinner and then went a got Dwats from work. We went to the usual spot, smoked some apricot shi-sha and watched Arabic music videos. Pretty decent trip over all even though I was exhausted from work from the night before. Overall, this weekend gets a 7 and only because of Sunday….

Tomorrow is my first day in the field with the AMRI group. I’m really excited because if I can use the data we collect, I can use this time as an independent study, get credit for it and not have to go back to ohio in the spring. This is a VERY good thing. I’ve been planning Dwats 21st Birthday excursion and I’m really excited about it. I think she’ll be very pleased

Over and Out
:amel:

Hey Doctor

Started GMR on Friday…Um, yea absolutely nothing like the Columbus team. The DC 1 team was so disorganized and we were lost or looking for parking 3 of the 6 hours we were out. I was sick and the ppl I was driving with were idiots. Par exampla: 2 white folks talking about the origin of slavery…WTF. As Ms. MD put it, “just because you didn’t start it doesn’t make you any less wrong…uhh, new topic”. Gurr, but I’m not complaining cause that was $100 for the night.

Saturday and part of Sunday was spent with Ms. MD. We went to Olive Garden, had a wonderful meal and then we were supposed to go to the movies. Well umm, we were $2.50 short so we opted to go back to the house, cuddle up and watch the Good Son. We played speed had good conversation about each other’s characteristics and personality traits/flaws and didn’t go to bed till 6am. Overall, a very good time. I left her house kinda late cause she didn’t wanna get up when we were supposed to and was a little late to training for GRM. It was pretty much 3 hours of review plus some new info. Jemmies and I came in together and grabbed two seats in the front row. After things got started, we looked around, and the room was definitely segregated. All the white folks were on the right side of room and the coloreds were on the left. We made a mental note of it and continued playing our box game on the note pads they had supplied us with. It’s funny, no matter how old you get, you stick to your comfort zone no matter the benefits or disadvantages.

I’m pretty tired and I have work at B&BW at 10am so I’m going to bed until Ms. MD calls to let me know she made it home safe from Bmore.

:amel:

First...

So I was flying down 495 this evening headed out to VA and there was an older green Monty Carlo following me. Now of course, I look in the rearview to see if there are any lights in the car…you know those undercover cops will get you. I don’t see anything so I continue speeding well above the 55 mph speed limit, going back and forth between lanes. A few miles later, the car is still following me so I’m thinking it’s a game, you know we’re following each other cause where finding all the holes in traffic to get around the slow folks…sidenote: I make driving a game, its more exciting that way… At any rate after about 7 minutes of speeding the green normal looking Monty Carlo, flashes police lights….AT THAT POINT, I SH!TTED ON MYSELF. It’s a wrap, I’m bout to get my license take away or at least, a $200 ticket. To my COMPLETE surprise, the off-duty cop (I could only assume) pulls next to me and mouths the words “slow down”. I obliging nodded my head and reduced my speed to 65mph immediately. He continued down 495 slowing down traffic and got off at the next exit. IT WAS ONLY THROUGH THE GRACE OF GOD THAT I WAS NOT PULLED OVER. I said my prayer of thanks and struggled to get my vehicle above 70mph, not that I should have been doing that anyway. Hallelujah and Thank You Jesus was all I could say.

I went to B&BW to find out when I can be put in the system and Sherry told me to come in tomorrow and scheduled me for Sunday’s floor set. It’s nice to just walk in a place and get a job. After all that I decided I would rather do nothing in VA with MD then at home so I surprised her and drove out to see her. I think I’m seeing her too much, cause you know when you start spending every free moment with someone things become rushed and I really don’t want that. Been there, done that. We need to have time to actually miss each other. I’m going to hang out with her this weekend, and then I’m going to chill out for a bit. It’s not what I wanna do but it’s what I need to do to ensure that she sticks around for a bit.

:amel:

DOT...Dot...dot

Too much has happened since the last time I wrote. In short, I got my car towed, wasted a ½ tank of gas being lost in VA rush hour traffic, met a new lady, went to a pride party. And this is just the beginning of June. It may not seem like a lot but each of the above events span over 2 days.

I start work on Friday…YAY!!! And Jemies will probably be working with me. Still haven’t head back from the NWF job. Hopefully, I’ll hear at the end of the week. My advisor e-mailed me some alternatives to coming back to OWU in the spring so I’m excited about that. If I don’t have to go back to Ohio, that just opens up a lot of opportunities for me. I could get a permanent job or even look at apartments. That’s definitely a long shot since I do still plan on doing the Peace Corps as soon as I get my degree.

My family drives me crazy on a daily basis. Running around like a little slave child for my granny and lending an ear to my mom when she gets home from work. I still just like to escape sometimes and be around my peers. For example, this weekend I will be disappearing to VA to spend some time with the new lady. I met her on Friday and we just clicked. I’ve seen her twice since I met her. I’m just trying to take my time and get to know her.

Ms. Bailey, and I talked about the comment I made about her in a previous post. I made an incorrect assumption and she wanted to see what was up with me. She wanted to talk it out and see why I said what I said. We had a decent phone convo and did a little catching up. It was definitely and awkward at first because I don’t deal with confrontation well, but I did a lot of listening and not much talking and I guess things will be what they will be. She’s changed and deals with things differently so that’s good for her. Maybe we will build a stable friendship or perhaps that will be the last conversation I have with her. Only time will tell. And since I’ve been trying to write this entry for the past 2 days and I just wanna post something, I’m going to end it here.

:amel:

Tecate and a Newport Please

This weekend is PRIDE and as the week progresses, I’m getting really excited about it. A lot of folks are coming in from outta town and that's always a plus. Gotta open up the queer community to the outsiders so everyone's not connected by 2 people...ick. My mom said she wanted to come to the film festival part, which was quite shocking and amazing. But, I'd be more then happy for her to come with. Perhaps it will make her a little less homophobic, but it's most likely just wishful thinking.

I found this really great job with the Nation Wildlife Federation. I sent in my application, prayed about it and I just know the job is mine. I talked to the GMR folks and that's all set up for the first weekend of June. Oh, and how bout the hourly rate here is $17.20 opposed to $12 in Columbus...I LOVE BEING HOME! Me starting in June is perfect too cause, I’ll get my first pay check right in time for NYC PRIDE.

I really miss Simone and I can't wait for her to get back to the states. I've been thinking about her entirely too much for someone who’s supposed to be just a friend. I just miss having someone to talk to. I’m bored. I need social, peer to peer interaction. Some alone time would be good to, during the day I’m with my Goose and in the evening mommy wants time with me. I really just wanna go to someone’s place, smoke a Newport, drink a Tecate and relax with having to do anything for anyone.

I was browsing around dL and came across my ex's page and she's got some thing up about being shattered. So of course, I look through to see what's going on cause this broken window is symbolism for her relationship. Evidently her and her partner are going through some things and I’m not going to lie, I got very excited. Part of me kinda feels bad but the majority of me was thinking "HA" She's been through so much sh!t and requires a lot from whoever she's involved with. There are very few people who are willing to give so much of themselves plus put up with all her...various personality traits. I do hope everything works out cause Bailey doesn't have many other people to support her with all that she goes through. I’ve pretty much rendered her unimportant to me but if she needed help or just an ear to listen, I’d more then likely be there for her. It’s just my kind and compassionate heart. I could go on but I’ll stop here about Ms. Bailey

:amel:

College Graduate...Sorta

I am official home from Ohio Wesleyan University forev....well at least till January. You might ask yourself, "But amel, you were all set to graduate after the spring semester, what happened?” I'd say,"I'm so glad you asked, let me tell you. I failed chem II and since the class isn't offered over the summer nor during the fall semester, I have to return for the entire Spring semester of 2007 to take the one class that I need to get complete my course work and obtain my diploma. But I did get to walk”.Oh yes, how wack is that. And I can't take it at another school cause I’d just get credit for taking the class and not get the points for grad that i got in the class. SO...i will be going back to Ohio in January. Of course this means i can't get a serious job cause I’ll have to leave in 6 months. Since I’ll be here for longer then just the summer and I want to gain some independence from my mommy, I wanna start taking over my car insurance payments and I need to get health insurance, ie: I need to work. So I'll probably just go back to Bath and Body Works and do the GMR Bar Program. On a more positive note, I’ll be volunteering with the ARMI over the summer which I’m really excited about. I’m supposed to go out in the field sometime next week.

Besides working, I plan on making a lot of trips to PA. A particular lady that I’ve been talking to for a while lives there and now that I’m not in school, I have all the time that my finances allow for me to go out and visit her. I actually made a spontaneous visit out there on my way back from school. We were concerned that our first meeting was going to be a bit awkward but everything went very well. She’ll be in Ecuador for the next two weeks so I’m just SOL till she gets back.

Umm, my goose (Grandma) came out for graduation from Cali and will be here till July. I’m glad that she’s here cause her health isn’t the best HOWEVER, she is one of those older people who is set in her ways and can be very difficult to deal with at times, and she and my mommy don’t get along very well. I’m kind of the mediator between the two of them so this is going to be a long couple of months.

I said before that I was going to be writing in this more often and I didn’t I’m really going to try this time cause I have a felling some interesting things are going to happen this summer.

:amel:

Just Let me Fix You....

And the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

And high up above or down below
When you're too in love to let it go
But if you never try you'll never know
Just what you're worth

Yea, so i think i'll be utilizing this little space i have on here for my thoughts again.